Candle in the Window
by hazelgracegus
Summary: One-shot I wrote about Tonks missing Lupin on Christmas Day. Slight AU because of the timing of events in relation to when they happen in the book. Based on the Wrock song, Candle in the Window, by Tonks and the Aurors.


Slight AU because, if this were actually in the book, the timing would be completely off.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

I got the idea for this fic from the wrock song, Candle in the Window, by Tonks and the Aurors. It's an amazing song, and I suggest that you look it up.

Candle in the Window.

_Remus hands me a bright red candle, smiling gently. "I know that you didn't want any gifts this year for Christmas, but as this is something for the both o f us, will you accept it?"_

_ I nod. He smiles wider and points his wand at the candle. The tiny white wick catches the flame coming from the end of his wand and lights up. It burns steadily, and we simply look at it for a while. "It's beautiful," I say. "but why?"_

_ His smile grow even brighter, and he sets the burning candle in the window. "Its a promise," he says softly. "If you need me, put this candle in the window. And i'll be there with you." _

_ I nod solemnly, then burst out laughing. He jumps, then stares at me, looking ever so slightly insulted. I laugh even harder at his expression, and explain, between laughs, "it just seems so silly, like something from a bad muggle movie." _

_ Now he looks confused on top of everything else, and I remember that he wouldn't know about muggle movies, seeing as both his parents were wizards. But, finally, he understands, and we spend the evening laughing and smiling at each other. The candle remains in the window, burning slowly._

The candle in my window is slowly burning away. Soon it will be gone, completely melted away. The clock chimes. 10:00. I get up slowly. I don't want to move at all, but the candle will die if I don't. I fumble with the box of matches-I don't have the heart to use magic. I set the fresh candle in the window and sigh. Even after everything he did, I still can't accept the fact that he left. "He isn't coming back." My mother stands in the door to my room. Apparently she had been watching me for some time, now.

"How do you know?"

She looks at me sadly. "Dora, he's been gone for months, now."

I am not convinced, and she sees that.

"Dora, look outside."

I do. The snow sparkles in the bight light of the moon. The full moon. Oh. Thats why.

Tears come to my eyes, and my mother's arm is around me.

"Dora, don't."

"Just go away." I pause. "please"

She just nods and leaves. When I am alone in my room, I stare out the window, at the moon. It reminds me of him and I can't help the tears from falling down my face.

Days pass, and I grow stronger. I know now that he lied. Never will he come back. But it doesn't stop hurting to know that he left both me and our unborn child. He said he did it for my own good, but how good can it really be, when it hurts so much. Soon I stop placing the candle in my window, knowing it won't help at all. But I still think of him. The way he refused to marry me. The way he finally did. How happy he was the day of the wedding. I miss it all, but I also know that missing won't help me heal. So I learn to live with it.

Christmas day comes, and I promise myself to not think of you. I promise I will be cheerful, for the sake of my parents. And I do a reasonably good job until I hear them talking. About him.

"...don't know why he won't just leave her alone," my father is saying, "he's done enough damage to our family already."

"Ted," my mother chides, "she still loves him, you know."

I realize that my father is speaking of more than the state he left me in. I realize they were never comfortable with the idea of me marrying a werewolf in the first place. Though they were not particularity proud people, they had discovered that it affects your reputation when your only daughter marries a creature that has been shunned from society its whole life.

The sounds of footsteps on the stairs startles me, and when I look up, my mother is there, a box wrapped in gold paper and a letter in her hands. She seems unsure of what to say, but, eventually, she speaks. "An owl just arrived. It left...well, it left this." she places the box on the table, the letter on top of it.

I can barely breathe. What if it really is what I think it is? I clear my throat. "Who is it from?"

My mother hesitates, but there something must have been in my expression, for she replies. "Remus."

Now I really can't breathe. My hands are trembling as I pick up the gift. I open it first, deciding that if the letter contains bad news, I want to hear about it later. Underneath the gold paper, there is a single candle. It's bright red, and only half of it remains, but I love it. I know this candle. It's the very one the he gave me our first Christmas together. I open the letter, no longer caring about the bad news it may carry. Written in his familiar, messy, childish handwriting, is everything I have wanted to hear in the past moths that I have been alone.

_Dora, _

_ I am so sorry. When I left, I thought I was protecting you. I was clearly wrong. I went directly to Grimmauld Place. I spoke to Harry, Ron and Hermione. I tried to join their little group. Harry got angry at me for leaving you and the child. We argued and I ran. I thought about what he had said. Harry is a smart kid, you know. I realized he was right. I never should have left you. Please forgive me, I understand if you are still angry, but I wish that you would take me back more than anything in the world. Remember my promise._

_ Thank you, _

_ Remus_

I stare at the words, _'Remember my promise', _and I can hear his voice saying, _'it's a promise'._

I touch the tip of my wand to the charred and blackened wick, and it ignites. I place it in my window. I look at the red candle, burning away slowly in the window, and Remus is there, beside me, at least while our candle lasts.

.


End file.
